Just about to write my last exam.

Matthew Good sooth my soul.

Earbuds...stop shocking me... please?

I love my job? Jeeooob

Okay so... Everyone is asleep or something. I just got off work. It was an awesome night. I'm serving like all the time now. Earlier I was bummed about having to work but it ended up going swell!

Let's just say, that tonight I made enough money to pay for next months rent. STOKED!

I could keep doing this serving thing...

Tomorrow is my last exam at 7pm. I'm tired but not at the same time because I've got such a post-work high right now... I should sleep tho. Need to study all day tomorrow, and go to the bank to deposit this caaash. I feel kinda like a stripper or something because I have $600 sitting on my nightstand... All in 20's baahaaa.

...I wonder if I deposited all the money I was supposed to tonight.. Uhhh. I hope so. I'll go check tomorrow morning tho for sure... Haha.

Crap now I'm worried.

Okay... movie. bed. sleep.

Love always,

Charlie.

Quicky

I amm At the library, I've been here for probably about 4 hours studying. My ears hurt from my headphones and my head is a little spinny. I feel okay about the exam tomorrow tho so that's good. I am catching the bus in 15 minutes.

I was just going to google or say something but I seem to have forgotten what it was. Strange...

Okay whatever.

Uh-huh

Turtle necks are not sexy.

Strange strange things...

So... apparently I don't follow blogs anymore according to my dashboard which is strange. I have no idea what that's about... hopefully they'll come back.

I'm sitting in the library in a closet cubicle trying to work on my essay that's due tomorrow. But I keep getting distracted, its probably due to the fact that i've been sipping on coffee for the past 3 hours.

Another thing that has come to my attention lately is my weight. I feel like I'm losing weight... I don't know why I would be tho, I guess I have been trying to eat healthier... but that's all. Strange. Haha, that's a sick picture... But its me right now in the library just chillin...

I don't know.. I should work more... just thought i'd do a little venting. :)

Procrastination

How old are you turning this year? I turned 20...

Have you spoke to any of your exs today? No

Do you miss your past?Nahh, I get nostalgic everynow and then but my present is good, minus sickness and exams...

Is there anybody that you wish you could fix things with? I have

How many months until your birthday? 12

Does it matter if the person you like drinks? As long as its not a habit, no

Who last called you? Alex

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? Yeah probably

How many more minutes until you will eat next? a few

Have you ever crawled through a window? yes

Do you remember who you liked in August? Yup

Think of the last person you told “I love you” to, did you mean it? Yea

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? Tele, but i'd rather have neither

Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth? No

Will you be over 21 in 2012? Yes

What were you doing at midnight last night? Falling asleep or coughing

Would you feel comfortable with short hair, or do you prefer long hair? Both are good, hair grows

Let me guess, your single? Nope!

Is the last person you kissed yours? Always

Are you going to get hurt by a girl/guy anytime soon? Hopefully not

What are your plans for tonight? Study, clean shower, sleep

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? Being sick and studying

Did you sleep alone last night? Yea :(

Is there anything in your room that reminds you of past memories? Yea pictures

Were you single on your last birthday? Nope

You kissed someone yesterday, didn’t you? Nope

Have you ever been awake for 2 days straight? No Ever really cried your heart out? Yes

What are you listening to right now? My fridge rumble

Do you believe ex’s can be friends? Yes

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? uhh, i don't know

Are you scared of spiders? Big ones, and fat ones

Are you currently frustrated with a boy or girl? Nope

Have you ever been under the influence of alcohol in Mexico? Nope

Where are you? Bed

Have you ever kissed the last person you sent a message to? Nope

Who might that be? Lest

Think back to this time last year, were you happy? Happy that I would be home soon

What can’t you wait for? To be done exams and to have celeste for the summer!

Why? Because school sucks and friends are great!

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Eeehghdsh

Do you need to talk to someone right now? Nope

Do you miss someone? Yes

Would you call yourself smart? Yes, but lazy

Do you honestly have any feelings at ALL for anyone? Yes, of course

Do you know anyone named Holly? Yea

Are you easy to get along with? Sometimes

Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? Beebs

Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over? Boys... hahaha

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? Yes

Do you have a reason to smile right now? Sure thing

Does anyone completely understand you? No

Say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? I'd at least hope we were married...

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Very much

Do you think you will be in a relationship two months from now? Yes

Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past three months? Yup

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yes

Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most?

Yes

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? Yea

Do you want to start over with anyone? Nope

Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed? Yes

Who was the last person you slept next to? Bubs

Is the last person you kissed a virgin? Silly question

Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field? Permanent? A little extreme...

Have you ever felt replaced? Yes

Are any of your friends virgins? Well... maybe a few...

Would you have sex with someone you’ve known for just an hour? Never

Is there someone who you’re attracted to? Yes

Who were you dating this time last year? Alex

Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you?

Of course Do you have trust issues? Yes

Ever kissed someone with a tongue piercing? Yes

How old were you when you had your first relationship? 15

How old were you when you had your first kiss? 15 drunk

What color is your underwear? nude

Ever had your heartbroken? yes

Who was the last person you sent a text to? Alex

Last person to text you? Alex

Last person you saw? Alex

Who do you trust the most in your life? My mom

Who do you love most? Family

Ever been in love? Love is so abstract

Who has hurt you the most? myself

Has a tragedy ever happened in your life? A little dramatic

Are you happy with where you are relationship-​​wise now? Yes? I don't know if i entirely understand the question...

What is your idea of true love? Hmmm

Do you believe in love at first sight? Naah

Without saying any names, what something that reminds you about the last person you kissed? turkeys

Dare you to tell me the place you had your last kiss? My caaaar

Could you stay in a relationship for over a year? Yes

Do you know who you’ll even kiss next? Alex I hope!

Ever kissed a brown hair brown eye person? Yes

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with a A? Whenever I can

If the last person you kissed, saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? Furious

Do your feelings get hurt easily? Yes

Absent

Yeah, It's been a while. I've been so busy with work, school, easter and my birthday, i've had no time to blog or just haven't felt like it. I just showered, didn't sleep much last night and I need to write an essay. Plus i feel like hell. Crap.

I'm really stressed about school right now...i have to finish a 12 page essay which i have 6 more pages to do, I have an exam on saturday, wednesday, and next saturday...but then i'm done! Which i'm stoked on. Unfortunately I feel like i'm coming down with something... probably bronchitis and a sinus infection... typical. But then I'm done for 4 months and I can't wait.

I was supposed to work tomorrow but I traded it for an off so that I could study lots for saturday. Today I need to work on that essay, at least find some more sources and then I can write it on sunday or something.

I wish I could just lay in bed all day and sleep, I feel run down and haggard. Oh also I'm kinda diggin' the pretty reckless, not gonna lie. Like taylor momsen is kinda annoying but intriguing at the same time. Mostly I did her chic grunge voice. Circa courtney love in hole and shirley manson of garbage.

1 down, 4 to go...

I've been too lazy to blog lately apparently...

My birthday is on friday

Food

Coffee w/ cream and a multi vitamin & Iron and B12 supplements

1 activa raspberry yogurt - half an hour after waking up @ 9

2 eggs scrambled with spicy mesquite on

2 whole wheat tortillas w/ organic baby greens and some old cheddar @12:30

1 cup of milk 1% milk

Y'know... just what I've eaten so far.

It's a beeeautiful day... +19... Too bad I have class @ 2 then work 6-10. :(

What the fuck.

???

I'm not into being stressed out over trivial shit.

I'm not even listening to music right now...

That's a lie, but I wasn't until like 10 seconds ago.

Fact is... here's a list.

- I need to get this 10 page essay .. started and done

- I have to work at 5

-

I really need a hair cut, and some management done on my roots. More blonde?

- Tattoo, nails, new jeans

- Next week will be pretty exciting.

On toes...

I find it strange how I can go like... 3 years without stubbing or hitting my toes off things. Then out of no where, I'll literally just kill one and for some reason manage to smash it at least 5 more times before it feels better. What is this?

I say thing because I've been having issues with the cuticle on my big toe. Some tell me its an ingrown toenail and others say its a corn(sick.)... Fact is... It HUUURTS and I keep dropping shit on it... I recently dropped a shoe on it, which from my understanding is pretty ironic.

Best sentence ever...

"The problem with this idea is that even though Mason does not suggest an entire gentrified facelift for the neighborhood, it is an implied concept because of the way that Downtown Eastside provides the perfect stage for the flames of neoliberal policy to be fed by the air of gentrification."

I'm just a fat house cat

I'm beginning to question things, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I guess that it's good that I experiences an immense feeling of discontentment in my daily life. Whether it be my work habits or my hair, there is always something on my mind. The only problem is the stress that I begin to well up. Right now is the most stressful time for school. Everything is winding down and wrapping up. I just need to stop getting overwhelmed and get a straight thought in my head. I had everything planned out and prioritized. But it seems that somewhere I messed up and watched one too many episodes of the Real World, now I'm in a panic thinking I'm going to fail a class.

I just noticed that my computer screen is severely acting up... when I dim the backlight it astays in in the centre...

... Its now... Not the same day I originally intended to post this entry on. But I just found out where my drafts when... So here it is. I'm going to post it... Its probably not complete but I'm just too tired to put any more effort into writing tonight. Goodnight.

Just a moment...

Okay I stole this from Celeste and I'm going to do it before I actually make a meaningful entry...

THREE WAYS I AM STILL A CHILD:
1. I like Candy
2. I'm at least a 7 on the scale of 1 to gullible
3. I act out when things don't go my way

THREE WAYS I AM ALREADY OLD:
1. I have a reent obsession with the wrinkles that are forming or going to form on my upper lip
2. I like wrapping myself up in blankets and sitting in rocking chairs
3. I'm spunky.. ew but not that kind of spunk. Bwaaa.

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO:
1. Make a difference
2. Be happy with myself
3. Help others

THREE WAYS THAT I’M A STEREOTYPICAL “BOY”:
1. I burp
2. I don't often wash my hair... once a week if others are lucky
3. I get rowdy when I drink

THREE WAYS THAT I’M A STEREOTYPICAL “GIRL”:
1. I hate my body most days
2. I like make up and perfume
3. I'm overemotional and cry a lot

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Closure
2. Have money in the bank
3. Learn how to manage time more effectively

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. self-awareness, false or not it beings me comfort
2. My hair
3.

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Not being able to open up entirely

2. The dark places of my sole
3. How I analyse the world and fail to see beauty in man-made anything...

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Nish
2. Moccasins, dreamcatchers, visions
3. Irish

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Love
2. The future
3. My mind

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Bra
2. Chapstick
3. iPod

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (OR SAME) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Bone structure
2. Eyes
3. Smell

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO:
1. Stop thinking
2. Share
3. Believe

Home and Myrtle Beach Recap

So here I am, back home in peterborough. I fully survived the trip to Myrtle Beach. It was lovely. The beach and sun was amazing, I discovered the ocean is in fact, very salty; and that there is a reason why American beer is so cheap.

Regarding my last post it seems that I was entirely lost in the space of exhaustion before we left last Friday. We did leave at 3am, and I remarkably slept until the boarder where we were interrogated by the boarder patrol... at least I think we were. I was too tired... I woke up somewhere in Pennsylvania and then dosed on and off for the rest of the 15 hour car ride to North Carolina where we stayed for the night. We got up early the next day and headed to Myrtle Beach and got there around noon. So here are the highlights and lows of my week.

Day 1- Friday : Depart Peterborough at 3am... Drive all daaay And sleep in North Carolina

Day 2- Saturday: Arrive in the afternoon sometime, still tired and groggy from spending a day and a half in a vehicle. Mid numbing. Needless to say, I was pretty stoked when we arrived on the Ocean Boulevard strip. Get a nice room with an AMAAAZING ocean view. Then got to touch the ocean and have some beers.

Day 3 - Sunday : Joanna is sick, my anxiety levels go up, a strange scratching in my throat and Nascar speed waaaay(which is go-karting, just a little more extreme than wild water & wheels)

-Got kicked off nascar... whoops.

Day 4 and/or 5 - Monday & Tuesday: This was monday... Uhhhm. I think that Alex might have gone deep sea fishing and I laid in the sun... Perhaps that was tuesday tho. I ... Lost track of time?

Could have possibly:

- laid in the sun

- read a non-school related book.

- MAAAYBe the Ripley's Aquarium...

Day 6 & 7 - Wednesday & Thursday: Let's say that on day five Alex, Nick and I went Mini putting then Alex and I went to the Ripley's Mirror Maze, tripped out, then went to the Gay dolphin. I bought a Rabbit's foot too... It's purple. Also Shopping... Got some shoes and sandals... They're both actually sandals...

Day 8 - Friday: Laid in the sun ALL DAY. Got a leg burn. OO, got some shells... Take a niiice walk down the strip.

Day 9: Depart from the lovely Myrtle beach and land in Cranberry twelve hours later to spend the night at Alex's uncle's home.

- play pool

- eat pizza

- drink some wine

- play Wizard

- Sleep

Day 10: Come home

- shower

- pluck eye brows

- unpack

- go to church

- go to metal show and pop ear drums.

COOL.

Ahh.. My time line is messed up. I missed a day in there somewhere. Probably involved shopping :)

All in all, my trip was wonderful. I was sick. Sorry for the inconsistencies. I REALLY just want to watch True Blood right now and drink my coffee..

Ciao Bella

What a dump.

12:51

HOLY I am soo tired. About to play some meaty game with alex. Also I am so ttired. Also Leaving for Myrtle beach in like 2 hours.

Mess

I can't help you if you keep pushing me away. This will never make you happy. Ever. It will always be a battle, and you're just letting the demons in. Stop trying to be a tough girl. You're smarter than that.

Reflection

Okay, so last night = the most amazing thing of my life. Muse truly was amazing. I've never rocked out/screamed so much my entire life. Today I'm paying for it tho. Okay let me begin with a recap...

doododoo

..

Monday-day was such a drag... i was working on essays. Nuff said. Soo once I got really bored of sitting in a downtown c

offee shop researching Haitian voodoo, I decided to go to the mall to look at things and enquire about getting a new mobile phone because mine is a piece of crap.

After the mall I went to pizza nova to get alex and I dinner as he was working until 6... and the concert doors opened at 6... so we needed to leave as soon as he was done work. We met up with alex's friend and his girlfriend to give them the other pair of tickets we got because OH YAH WE GOT FLOOR SEATS FUUCK YAH!

*side story: Alex and I bought tickets the first day they were on sale and got a pair in the 300 section of the ACC so ... not floor, and like.. how could we settle for anything other than general admission. sitting at a concert is blasphemy. So we looked and looked for floor tickets but they were all expensive and only available through sketchy ticket broker sites or like kijiji. Sooo my plan was to sit on tic

ket master the morning of the show fora few hours till house seats were released. So i had my alarm all set and everything... then in the morning I get a text from alex saying he's got floor tickets. so i'm all whaaa? He ordered them from a broker site. So naturally i was stressed the hell out because I only read the bad reviews... BUT the tickets came and were legit. .. back to the concert.

We get there and figure we've got tons of time so we get a couple of $14 beer(yah..) which are big.. but not worth $14... then we hear music and everyone runs out of the room we were standing in. We thought it was just the opening band..but NOPE! We managed to miss silver sun pickups and muse was going on. So we attempted to chug our beers and run out before they came on.

Words can't describe how epic this show was. My first Muse show, hopefully not my last. I was wasted off of adrenaline and crowd energy. Bwah. You had to be there. They were amazing, the visuals were a mind fuck. Lasers and balloons and smoke(which may or may not have just been marijuana fumes) and just pure insanity.

Needless to say, today was a bummer, coming back to reality... BUT Myrtle beach in like... 3 days. two essays to get done. ANND I'm real tired.

All I want is popcorn. And sleep. . . but neither of these I shall have.

MUSE!

Saw Muse tonight. It was everything I wanted and more. Details later...

70

I can't get it out of my head.

Not yet spring...

So I wrote a huge fatty entry like a day ago... but apparently I failed to post it and save it as a draft... Realllly too bad. I'm in my INDG 1000 class and we're about to watch a movie... I killed my toe on a stall in the washroom, and now I'm eating rolos. They're tasty...

I just felt obligated to do a post...

not anymore... maybe i'll have someting interesting to say later on... We'll seeeee

Wtf...

41%... Like I failed?

The Killers First Album

I'm in the OC caf. listening to the Killers. Their first album tho because it was the only good one, naturally! '

Okay so I headed to class today, the 9am one that i actually never attend. I was lying in bed at like 7:30 just after my alarm went off debating on whether or not I should attend, as I generally debate on Tuesday mornings. Today, however, school won over sleep. Stupid, right? So I get to class and know that lecture is going to be regarding the upcoming essay. BUT I should have figured it was just going to be a stupid reiteration of everything I've learnt about essays from shit, elementary school to now. I know I need to proof read, thanks. Oh and yes, I do know that there is a standardized font and margin spacing for a reason. My sources will be in alphabetical order, thanks. I do know the importance of a thesis statement and that direction is a necessary thing t incorporate into an essay, and even life. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR WASTING MY TIME WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING! ... Ridiculous.

So now I'm sitting in the caf. all lonelily wanting easter and spring, some more coffee would be appreciated. Oh hey brock is here now. Okay he's going.

That probably didn't make any sense at all.

UHHM. I don't know what else to say, I was going to rant about people being ridiculous but I think that my lecture rant was sufficient. So i'm going to go just.. go...

k. bye.

You're not edgy. Stop please.

My thoughts are scrambled.

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm ruining everything I care about.

I need to step back and breathe.

I need to realize I can't control everything, or everyone.

I need to just let things be.

I have to work on myself - where have I gone?

I feel like I've lost a piece of myself somewhere...

Didn't I used to be fun? And care-free?

Now I'm a wreck. A train wreck of emotion... and I'm sick of it...

Sick of myself.

Sick of looking at myself in the mirror every morning.

Sick of not being thinking before I say something and not thinking about the consequences.

I'm sick of this town.

I'm sick to my stomach.

My eyes are on fire and feel like I have 15,000 eyelashes under the lids.

I just need to focus.

Not think about what's going to be, or what has been done.

There's just what I have right now... that's all I've got.

I need to stop losing my fucking mind.

I'm so confused. Can't think, can't sleep, can't see, can't.can't.can't.

I'm sorry.

Don't feed the drug-child

I feel like I have so much to do today but don't want to do any of it. I need to clean .... and work on my assignment, and shower. Then do my hair. I'm just not that into it.

Thus far I have driven down to the rez to get my allowance, gone to the bank to deposit it, driven my car to my dad's friends' place to drop it off and came home. Now I'm sitting on my bed that needs to be made looking at my floor that needs to be cleaned and just wanting to finish he's just not that into you.

I've been thinking a lot about things lately, like what I want to do in the future and where I should focus my attention, sometimes I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself.

I should soon start cleaning up, then I can just veg for a few hours till my ladies get here and work on my homework. I think I'm going to just put party monster on repeat all afternoon. I love Seth Green and Macauly Culkin.

My stomach is growling I should make some lunch. Vegetable Cup-A-Soup... it's happening.

On a side note I bought this tea... raspberry passion fruit. So good.

K. Time to get motivated.

You were a child

Holy another holiday has come in gone. I don't really consider Valentine's day a holiday tho, family day however... hm. Anyways Yes.. Valentine's day. Well let me start at the beginning.. I can't quite recall what/when my last post was.. .oops!

So Saturday I had my second day of work, it went well. Really

well I think. I enjoyed myself and everything. I'm just trying to make the best of everything at work and do my best so that I'll like it and not give up when something lame happens. If something happens.

After work alex came and got me and we went grocery shopping for out valentine's dinner. We decided to have it on saturday because on sunday we were going to pete's cottage. (but i'll get to the cottage part shortly.

Alex bought me this amazing camera and I love it very much. Now I can take pictures! So I made us dinner and we watched lost. Obsessed right now. Almost done season one, its soooo insane. We drank wine and took pictures and had a grand ol' time.

Sunday morning we headed to pete's cottage with pete, mike and laurie. We got there at probably about 12:30 or 1:30... and started drinking at3:30 which didn't stop until we drank everything and passed out by 1am. Funny stuff.

I took a bunch of pictures and videos it was a wild time. I'm uploaded the video below so... yeah! Enjoy. I'm actually stoked that it worked... I tried to put it on facebook but it didn't work. Oh well. I'll link this entry or something...

So Yeah... fun weekend. Now I'm on reading break. I have 3 essays to do before Myrtle beach which is only like 3 weeks away! IEE! So stoked. I work tomorrow 5-9 then thursday I'll be snowboarding. Who knows what the weekend will hold. I might try to take it easy and stay in to do work but we'll see. I'm due for a girls night with kristen and brooks. I know that much.

Okay I'm going to make sure that I have everything together I need to go to my parents house... I'm going there for dinner and to try to scam the car off them for the night. haha.

I want fish & chips and nachos from the old stone. Maybe my mom will make fish MMM

Cheerio!

PS: Definitely drank Le Diable Vert... which is Absinthe. And really expensive tequila that tasted like liquid gold... and mexican moonshine... it wasn't very good tho. ahah

Keep running up that hill...

I'm sitting by the tim horton's outlet thing outside of the library, just chillin'. Alex is picking me up shortly and we're going for dinner at his house then playing portal all night. It's going to be amazing.

This morning I was walking on the bridge and someone had written "the cake is a lie".. I love nerds. I'm going to go on and assume it was someone from the trent gamer association or something along those lines.

My hands are so dead from dry weather... and my mouth is full of cankers... Just when the one on my tongue seems to get a little bit better... i get two more :( I'm trying to take preventative measures now and rinse my mouth with salt water/just put sea salt directly on them.. it kills but i just need to not have any... Its probably from being stressed out as hell.

Aaaah... my internet connection is fading... I hope I can post this before it peaces out entirely. I'm just trying to get a picture... gsdfgj

I don't understand why I find it entirely necessary to get at least 4 books whenever I go to the library to do assignments... I usually only read ... SKIM through like 2 of them... ahh well. Oh and I just bought a donut ... it was the last sprinkle on... I had to.. MM .. hopefully I can still eat dinner at alex's... I only ate half of it tho... bleeh so good. SO FAT. but thoooooo goooodd.

Okay so...

- post 100 essay THIS WEEK.

- post 201 & post 235 essays during reading week.

- QLS tomorrow?

- and i'm in love with yoga pants lately.

- and tea, all type.. off my coffee kick

- veggie chili is bomb BUT eating too much leads to intestinal cramping. BELEE

That's all for noow...

google chrome sucks.

the r and l are there for a reason

Library, tea, sesame bagel, hand lotion, boring article, 3 essays to do in 4 weeks. OH something due on thursday ---what else?

I'm listening to MGMT - kids, I swear this some is my lifejam. So good. Oh but here's to the point of this entry:

the r and l are there for a reason

Posted using ShareThis

Okay so this neurosis from iamneurotic is one that I particularly identify with. I thought about it when I was putting in my ear phones a moment ago. I always try to put them in the right ride of my head that they're labeled for. In grade school someone told me that each one is built specifically for that side... So I believed them. I'm not so sure if I do now but I just get too pissed if I put them in the wrong one because I think I'm not getting to hear my music properly...

Anyways I need to finish this reading.

Spiced rum with my factory girl.

Sitting with kristen drinking some lambs rum spiced with cinnamon and vanilla. It's pretty tasty. We're watching factory girl and talking about boys. I don't really know what I think right now... Apparently I'm a little drunk. I might ust put on some dance music and start singing obnoxiously. Do some shots and smoke a cigarette. BAH Drunk typing.

...

Okay.

I'm really a man. goodnight.

!!

Ugh.

I guess it's just one of those nights...

This is a ghost town

I have a shaky jaw, cooking cheesy rice, just took some vitamins and supplements, and can't help but feel as if i'm being ignored for being a tool earlier. Ugh.

I'm trying to figure out which paper I should start because if I'm going to myrtle beach, which I plan on doing, then I'm going to need to get my shit done ahead of time so that I'm not stressing large later on. Its really cold in my apartment as per usual and i wish i was at the library or somewhere not here. However, it is rather quiet here, which is nice. but seeing as how its three soon its going to be loud loud loud as usual.

This morning I was woken up by a kid running around upstairs with shoes on, just jumping and shit. I vaguely remember sitting up and screaming then going back to sleep.

I would really like to get some school work done today. I'm going to see if my printer is truly madly empty, then eat some rice and maybe print out some articles to research (unless of course my printer is empty). If I can't print things out then maybe i'll shower seeing as how my hair smells.. dirty... and i'm cold. So then I would be both clean and warm.

Oh another thing, I have my second interview for wild wing on thursday. I hope it goes well and I get the job. I should just meditate on things that I want to happen. Such as me getting a job, and enough money saved to go to myrtle beach.. That would be nice.



Soda cans keep opening weirdly on me lately... I'm going to eat my rice and figure out what to do with myself...

Paint

I'm covered in paint! Yeah so after I was bored earlier I decided to dig out my aisle and do some painting... so i re-did a canvas or a background and semi-finished another piece that wasn't complete. I really wish I had money for actual canvas tho...Haha.. soon soon.
Uhm, I fixed my layout too kinda. PLus a new colour scheme, I hope its not too bright on the corneas, wouldn't want that

Tonight I am heading to alex's parent's for dindin, thank god... i'm so hungry, all i've had today is grapes and some popcorn. Oh how I love popcorn. Then we might be going out draankin'. Or drinking.

For now I'm listening to wolfmother, blogging, and waiting for alex to come get me... he should be here shortly... in probably about 5 minutes. I'm going to put some lotion on my hands and figure out which coat to wear...

PCE

Baah, So I'm sitting in bed, its saturday, I don't want to do my readings, and my blog format-ness had just gone crazy and I can't fix it... Drrg.

I don't know, I'm pretty bored. I called my mom to see if she was coming into town today but she's got the flu or something. LAME. Ugh. . . What am I going to do. Called wild wing again, manger wasn't there AGAIN... I'm going through my old ipod listening to old songs its kinda fun... I should really just do some readings tho... And eat too ...

What a lame post...

15 minutes:

15 minutes till class, I have to pee really bad but don't want to lose me seat(I'm by windows in a corner of the caf). I keep having waves of nausea for no apparent reason(but its probably the coffee). 3 more hours of class to go. Then I can go home and do more reading! Yaaay. naat.

Its cold, grey, rainy. So much for January. I expect cold, and sometimes grey. But rain? I like rain when I'm inside. But not when there's a torrential downpour and I'm in the middle of it waiting for the bus with nothing on my feet but a pair of moccasins.

There's some obnoxious girls sitting beside me splitting three chicken strips amongst themselves. Trent is a strange school. I think I have a canker on my tongue. So it kinda hurts to move it/talk. Blaagh. I wish it wasn't so damp.

On the bright side of things, I got a job at a restaurant. Sweet. I'll probably be serving in a few months, and this means tips and monies. So no more relying on other people to get me things. Its going to be sweet. Once I get my bills all paid offf and pay people back money that I owe then, get my passport and save money for Myrtle Beach. I'll be in the clear and feeling good. Saving for summer rent, and buying things...like shoes, and clothes, and bags. WOO! So stoked. Haha.

I see some girl I went to high school across the caf. She's got a sweet orange trench coat on, i dig it. There's people walking around in the parking lot outside. Its not raining anymore, but its still grey. Sometimes I like grey, it puts me in a thinking mood. I can't really think when its all sunny out. Its weird, I'm more spontaneous and just want to have fun. When its grey, I feel grey. More real almost. Its not a bad thing. Sometimes I like being stoic and critical.

I see a boy I went to elementary school with walking into the school. I have class with him. I've never spoken with him, even in elementary school. Its a funny thing.



I could probably go to the classroom now. Pee first tho. And a water bottle fill up.

Yessss.

Gaaaaators

I'm sitting up in bed right now drinking berry flavoured gatorade that I bought last night assuming I would most likely be hung over today. I am however, not hungover... but that doesn't mean that an icy cold swig of gatorade doesn't make my brain feel nice. Right? Anyway, I'm in the process of transitioning from this blog to another one... but i'm not even entirely sure that I wont keep this one. Yes, that was double negative. Since I'm planning on taking a more political look at things on my other one. We'll just see where this one goes. This is still provides me with a forum to vent my emotional issues to whoever happens to be reading.
Today I haven't got much planned but keep feeling like something bigger is supposed to be going on. Tomorrow there is this protest rally against the harper gov't sucking and suspending government. So that's really all I feel like is going on this weekend.
I might go downtown later and do some reading and blogging and tea/coffee drinking. We shall see tho. I wish there was a coffee shop that would supply you with endless amounts of coffee. That would be too easy though.
Okay, I'm going to try to wake brooks up from her slumberous state, then I don't know. I just want it to be spring so bad. I'm sick of winter. Sick of mild coldness and melting snow... and the ice patch that gathers at the top my stairs that is in fact a death trap.

I'm hungry. And need a good insightful book. None of that teen trash ... trash. Garbage. Haaha. I need something real with substance. Ugh.

FUCKING KIDS!


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...


I'm making a new blog.

Bullshit

The world is a vast depressing mass. News brings claims hysteria about global warming, pandemics, wars, everyone's dying and everyone's crying. Fuck.

How can someone carry on despite all of this bullshit and not care?! I wish people weren't so fucking selfish. Of course not everyone is selfish but those who are, are the ones who have the power. And it's fucked. People are fucked. This country is fucked. All countries are fucked. The fuck is fucked.

FUCK.

How can I make a difference? Can someone care about things with me? Is it ever possible to reverse the extensive damage that has been inflicted upon the whole human race and human nature? I may sound a little idealist in my words, but maybe that's what we need. A little fucking optimism for crying out loud.

Like yeah, yeah, bad news sells. WHY... It just depresses. Fucking government and corporate domination. Why the hell do I even want to get into this shit.

Journalism. Okay. That's where I'll go. And rant... Maybe it will get something done. Do some activism, I have no idea. I've felt drawn towards that though.

ALSO, Fuck Stephen Harper. Fuck him. He makes me so angry I want to cry. Why would Canada elect such a fascist to run our country. It makes me sick. I'll continue this rant later with more support but for now I have to go.

Peace? <<>

Confusion

I'm confused about life, friends, and support...

Resolutions:::

- No bullshit

- Floss

- Prioritize

- Take vitamins, iron, b12, more often...

I think there was something else... Hmm...

Anyways. I'm sitting in my fresh and clean home making perogies and salmon for dinner.

That's all :)