Attempt 8

I now believe that there is no point in hoping that my life with my parents and at their house will ever be normal. Got news today that my dad was moving back. . . though he hasn't quit drinking. I asked my mom what happened to the idea that he wasn't coming back until he quit and she said he's working on it. So i asked her when he was going to stop... she said eventually. I responded by saying that I don't believe he will and she just said that's okay. Fucking hell. Just as soon as I have a little hope that things might be a little bit okay tonight... they just go back to shit. There's no point in hoping... It just makes the letdown too painful.

Work at 2 until 9, same tomorrow. Then maybe Toronto on Tuesday. I'm watching Bride of Chucky right now... what a fried movie...

Attempt.. 7?

Frig, I suck at updating. I feel like I've been so busy that I haven't had time to do anything. I've been working - which is good, and I've been spending lots of time with Alex - which is better, but I seem to be losing time - bad. Basically I'm really tired right now, it's 11:10, I work at 7 am... and I keep on feeling like I'm coming down with something. It's probably all in my head. Like everything else. Why is it always in my head. I realllly need to call my therapist and get back into going regularly to deal with my boarder-line insanity.

Things I have done lately:

- Worked

- Went shopping for some clothes got 4 shirts/tanks, a cardigan, and a big ass purse. All black, white or grey. Typical.

- Spend time with my booy

- Thought about dying and life and stuff. No good.

I'm really starting to miss Toronto though and am super sad I'm not going back to Ryerson :(

I'm scared as usual of getting sick even though IT'S SUMMER! No one gets sick in the summeer. UGH. I suck.

I've got 3 empty bottles of wine lying around my room and 2 empty wine glasses, plus one half full glass of white wine from last week. My room is very messy and very hot. Now I'm hungry and I think I just need to get some sleep. Gravol please kick in soon!

There really hasn't been much else lately going on. I'm going to put on the tele tho and hopefully drift into a deep comatose sleep. Excellent.

Party on Wayne!

ps: I need to stop listening to shitty pop radio stations because songs are getting stuck in my head. Songs that are not good. Also I should buy a ring tone. And there is no ps. so let's just think about everything before hand so no posting is necessary. !

Attempt # 6

So it seems that I failed at the whole updating everyday. I just don't have enough ambition to update whoever reads this all the time. Lately I feel pretty low. I feel like I'm lacking support and that I'm just gliding through my life and current situations. There's so many things that I want to do and hear but everything is just all fuzzy. Thing I say don't make sense and I feel detatched like no one understands me. What am I suposed to do? Ughh...

I worked this weekend on Friday and Saturday then had yesterday, Sunday off. Alex and I went to Brooks' house and hung out all day on this giant raft on the lake. It was pretty rad. We drank beer and I even ended up smoking a bit of pot. First time in 2 years! It wasn't too bad though.

I don't feel like finishing this ... haha. Whoops.